.OBP Black Hole Appears Over Syracuse

The on-base percentage black hole previously seen over Cincinnati and Oakland this offseason recently appeared over the Nats’  Triple-A affiliate this past Monday. Members of the Syracuse Chiefs expressed concern, but Washington Nationals GM Mike Rizzo assures them that the abyss will do no harm. “This was purely a depth-related move,” Rizzo claimed Tuesday morning, noting that the void will only cost the league minimum and has “high upside.”

Nationals fans were a little less impressed with the signing. Alexandria resident Brent Wilson argued that one “can’t steal first base,” a longtime gripe with this particular theoretical mass. Wilson’s coworker Floyd Sumner agreed, stating “we already have a stolen-base threat in (Nyjer) Morgan and will be fine with Hammer (Josh Willingham) and (Elijah) Dukes at the corners. My great-uncle is better at drawing a walk.” Other Nats fans were eager to discuss incompatibility between ttheoretical physics and getting on base, but few could articulate their disdain without obscenities.

Various projections for the upcoming season differ on the void’s ability to get on base in 2010. Bill James projects an optimistic .322. On the lower end, the Fans project the Nats signing at a paltry .302.